Thursday, May 31, 2007
Today,i discovered something...
I went to take After Effects CD from Shawna just now at cityhall.Before that,i was early and everybody have not reached yet.So,i was ALONE.But i actually alighted at bugis instead of cityhall because i was too engrossed with the messaging to my friends and i missed the stop.I find myself kind of stupid...hahz...
I don't know whether its fated or not when i missed the stop,cause bugis was one of the places that me and my secondary school friends hanged around during our secondary school life.While waiting for shawna to reach,i browse around ALONE in Bugis Junction.I spent almost all my money on food cause there's lots of delicacies in bugis.I don't even have enough to spend...hahas...
As i was browsing around,i recalled those days when me and my secondary school friends shopped in bugis.I used to dislike going shopping at bugis because my friends always went there last time and i got sick of it.But now,I suddenly realised that it was a blissing to shop with me friends at bugis last time.Cause,now,i don't even have the time to go shopping...
I was walking ALONE and i discovered that i actually enjoy this feeling...i felt free as i don't have to care about the people around me...
One thing i discovered today is that I actually enjoy the LONELINESS.
I'm a LONELY yet HAPPY zombie.
Serene.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[2:37 AM]
Sunday, May 27, 2007
It was HORRIBLE just now.
I did filming for my project and it ended with anger and frustration.I know its all my fault.i knew.I should have charged the batt the day before and shoot everything yesterday...but i forgot.I'm really very sorry!!!my fren ended up scolded by her parents cause i held her up till midnight since 8pm....haizzz...
BUT, i just wanted everything to be perfect..i dun wanna do a sloppy job AGAIN and make yang tien say that i'm lazy AGAIN,so i kept retaking and retaking the scene...cause they weren't really well taken..but my cousins and friend just got quite fed up...and my parents blamed me for not charging the batt too...my dad just got fed up too cause i wasn't able to help him type his invoice and quotation(which is due tomorrow) cause i was home late.....My friend who was super steady to help me ended up messaging me that she's not going to help me anymore,cause she say i got all the grades i want,but she got all the scoldings...I DUN WANT TO...and i DUN MEAN IT...haizzz...
But i know is all my fault...i should have do wad i suppose to do...then everything can be done smoothly...I'm in the WRONG!!!
I feel like DYING...and I DESERVE to be DEAD....can anybody kill me???
I"M TRULY SORRY TO MY DEAREST FRIEND.
and now,i realised that i still have one scene haven take yet...this is so frustrating, i dunno wad to do now...will she be so steady and help me again if i ask her to?
I DUNNO...but i HOPE SO...
THANKS AND SORRY for taking everybody's time today...especially my ah ma,my cousins and my friend.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
I have to change,i know.
I hope everything will be fine tomorrow.
I'm a dying zombie now.Sad and Depressed.
Serene.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[11:26 AM]
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Today,i'm
HAPPY=)
I met up with one of my old friends,Jasmine.i can say that she's one of my best friend and who i confide to.I had a nice lunch with her and we chatted alot.Then we went shopping after that.In the middle of the shopping session,jasmine wanted to go toilet.But she went the wrong way.She travelled down from the level we were at to find a toilet even though there's one at the level.I shouted to her that there's toilet about it,but it was too late as she was already on the escalator.
So while waiting for her to come up,i went to browse at the yellow.I didn't notice her coming up.When i went out of the shop to find her,she was gone.I was shocked,and i panicked.
i went searching for her at the level she went to just now.But i can't find her.i was scared.But eventually i found her after knowing where she was through messaging.We went toilet without me and went to browse at shops after that-.-'''
BUT,I'm glad that i found her.whew~She really scares me and this was not the first time.It happened everytime we went out.I can even lost her from my sight in a bookstore,like popular.
I know that's stupid.hahas.
After that,i went back to school.I attended my CCA,Japanese Sakuran Cultural Club,for the first time even though there's already club event for the past few weeks. hahas.i was just too busy with my project.They taught us how to draw a CHIBI and it kind of helps.=)
But its kind of boring in the beginning until the senior in the club started to draw manga characters making love>.<(but of course,its censored)...hahas..it started with only 2 characters in the beginnning,but eventually it becomes four characters!hahas...the whole club became high after that..cause its yaoi hentai(gay pornography)!LOLX...
ok,But the main thing that made me happy today is that the strained friendship with one of my classmate seems to fade already...she seems to notice me more...i like this feeling...i really feel like crying when she broke the ice and talked to me...but they will be tears of joy.=)
and one more thing.I CAME UP WITH A CONCEPT FOR MY PROJECT ALREADY!i need a skater and i went around asking my friends if they know anybody who can skate.But its so damn coincidental that my class actually has one and he's willing to help!thank god man!!hahass..and thanks chaddy boy!lolx!
I'm a happy zombie,
Serene.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[10:01 AM]
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Life was simple and HAPPY before my poly life starts.I enjoy hanging out with my cousins during the holidays and even after that.I thought I would prefer poly life than secondary school life,but it seems that secondary school life was more lively.However,the stress mainly comes from the people around me in poly instead of the projects i have to rush it out for every friday's presentation each and everytime week.
Everything was alright during the first week of school.I LOVED my friends in poly and we had a CRAZY week.And i actually missed them alot during the first weekend.I dunno why,i went to work and i actually wanted to be with them badly.SO badly.
But everything kind of changed from week 2 onwards.My clique which consist of many people broke up into smaller cliques.I feel sort of left out after that split.
Just that i'm kind of having a STRAINED relationship with my friends in poly.I dunno why and I dunno what happened.
I nearly had a breakdown on this monday.They left.I was alone with a few of my other classmates.Then,was eventually alone in the cold classroom.I feel like crying that time.But i held my tears.I wanted to be alone that time actually.Cause i wanted to cry.I don't want to let anyone see me tear.
There's misunderstandings between us.
I NEED TO TALK,to them.
and,
PLEASE TALK TO ME,tell me what i've done wrong.
Life really seems Black and White to me now.I feel more and more depressed everyday now.Plus,what i actually got to know.I'm sad.
I went to play basketball with my cousins just now.One thing that i discovered is that i really LOVE them lots!They made me feel the bit of happiness out of all the depression i'm suffering from.They made me laughed and I laughed alot.They too made me cry before.But everything turned out to be fine through talks and explanation.
I had a HUGE arguement with one of my closest friends before.I told her her wrongs and she told me my wrongs.And everything was sorted out.We became closer after that.
I hope everything will turn out fine after the talks with my friends.I LOVED u guys and i want to continue LOVING u guys.
I'm a DEPRESSED zombie now.
WHATEVER,
Serene.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[12:59 PM]
Hello~this is Serene.
Basically i'm creating this blog cause i wanted to shout out my feelings so badly.
i like to represent myself as a zombie.cause i feel that i'm simply a living zombie now.
I have problems and i wanted to solve them.
Whatever,
Serene.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[12:07 PM]
