Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Yo, i'm here to blog again..like finally i know.
hmm... actually, its kind of like i've nothing to do now or rather, I don't feel like doing anything else, thus, I'm here to blog.Or else i'll be like watching anime or playing facebook instead.
I think, at some point of time, i feel like i don't wanna do anything, like no mood for everything.
NO MOOD to watch anime or read manga even though i like to,
NO MOOD to care about projects and assignments,
NO MOOD to even bother to eat a piece of chocolate which i felt like eating, and that's why i bought it,
NO MOOD to chat with friends that I haven't been meeting for a LONG LONG time even though I know I should do some catching up with them,
NO MOOD to bother about people i should care for,
NO MOOD to think about my future,
NO MOOD to do whatever that i'll usually do.
The worst thing is, i realized that I'm like subconsciously losing the ones I love. It seems that as time passes, people really do change. Change, due to the change of environment and even due to the friends they have made. Is this all due to my negligence of them? Or they really do forget me and don't see me as the same importance as last time as time passes?
TIME, I really hope that it can be rewinded and go back to the happy moments I once had with them.
I really hate this feeling. Cause they are Important to me and i cherish them even though i don't get to see them often. I don't want to lose anyone of them.
I always think that i'm really fortunate, which i still think so, cause i have a wonderful family and awesome friends. But deep inside, I don't understand why I still feel lonely.
I'll always laugh,crap,joke with the people around me, but when everything comes to an end and when I'm alone, i just feel a tinge of loneliness.
I'm like going on a pessimistic strike subconsciously. That's why people always say that those who look happy on the outside are actually quite pessimistic deep inside. They try very hard to hide their sad feelings, cause they don't want others to worry about them. And they love to make people laugh. Able to make others smile or laugh makes them feel that slight satisfaction and happiness.
And yup, that's what I think and feel too.
Making people laugh makes me happy=)
ok, sayonara.
I hope time can freeze during that moments.
[8:52 AM]
